the 5 most narcissistic products you won\'t believe exist
Yes, you, the person who read the article.
I have bad news: You have been found.
You might as well come out of your ego nest
Because we all know the truth: you are a completely narcissistic person.
The good news is that you are not alone.
Thanks for social media and other choices.
The promotion of a modern first world citizen.
Your friends, your family, your colleaguesworkers, .
Hell though is a regular
Internet comedians, hair unkempt, beard looks like a fist, don\'t listen to the medieval masturbation warning, I often can\'t go through the mirror without checking out the \"goods\" in my eyes, but for others, it\'s \"Holy crap,\" and the guy\'s last awesome photo must have been taken when he was a baby.
\"So, since the cat has come out of the bag and is busy admiring itself, isn\'t it time to be completely immersed in your glory?
Come on, friends, let go of the insignificant apps and the pointless selfshills --
The whole world has its own narcis.
Targeted products are perfect for enjoying.
Did you suddenly come out and get some toilet paper and a Snickers, but let your calmer errands be rudely interrupted by a photographer who was completely unbothered?
Isn\'t this the worst?
You \'ve been fighting, you \'ve been running, you even punched a guy named Sean Payne --
But the paparazzi are not there.
It\'s almost like they don\'t really rate you well, just because technically you don\'t meet the arbitrary limitations of people in society who know something about ordinary people.
At least, the world used to be like this.
Fortunately, we live in a glorious era, in which, like many other wonderful me --
Central things, can be handled with good old thingsMake dough.
Yes, I mean you can follow you completely and record your day with their trademark tips (
They will track your preferred meal ticket and take a snapshot in any way).
It turns out that the shady photographers work for the money, if they are not busy hiding in the bushes in case Jennifer Lawrence\'s clothes explode on the way to her car or somewhere else, they are all happy to cut the middleman and take your check because they will do more or less anyway.
All the custom services offered by Papsword paparazzi are designed to make you feel important enough to be tracked by the worst career in the world.
The options they offer include tracking your party/wedding guests (
When six human pests spread into battle and spend two hours trying to get the latest photos of everyone, who will scream in worship)
Give them a flat \"rock star\" treat
Go out and follow you in town and their Glitter will be waiting for you no matter where you show up.
In the end, you will get the photos they took for themselves.
After all, paparazzi are moral animals and once you make it big one day, they will certainly not leave a copy of the more embarrassing paparazzi to themselves.
For a real self-narcis, there is usually a problem with your chocolate dinner party.
They tend to include those who are not you, and those who want to talk about things other than you.
Of course, you can maximize your attention by having a party, but that brings another problem: the final conversation shifts to food.
Yes, again, comestibles is trying to steal your limelight and pose and pou\'s mouth to capture the attention of your guests as if they were apparently hussies.
\"This mashed potato is delicious,\" people said . \"
\"How did you keep the barbecue so moist?
\"Oh my God, is that human teeth ? \"
\"Food, food, is all about food. Well, there\'s food.
One way to steal the spotlight back is to get the food ready.
Remember, though, not to do this by preaching your Eucharist ---
The \"bread and wine, body and blood\" thing will only end you in a place where there is almost no mirror (
Although if you are lucky, you may be troubled by your Worship).
No, there is no need to do so, because there is a more elegant way to feed people your own glory: Yes. Yes. Good.
Let your entourage and fucking feast and let them enjoy.
Several companies offer the option to shape chocolate into the shape of your radiant person.
Of course, the results are a bit disturbing from being relatively accurate. . . . . .
Or, who cares?
They are chocolate with your face on it and therefore the best thing in the world.
Wait, why are all the people on the table screaming? 3Sex DollsSex.
It\'s the best, isn\'t it? Yes and no!
Boning itself is fine, but have you ever thought about what you really like when it comes to pornography?
Who is an absolutely unbeatable expert on everything you like?
Even the weird things you don\'t want to think about? That\'s right --it\'s you!
So why do you waste your time pursuing those who are inferior?
Evolution, of course, works here to keep you from tradition. . .
Well, push you to the meaningful sexual relationship that the fool says, and the real partner and all the jazz.
So why not make sure your future sexual partner is the most attractive person on the planet?
I mean, just pay a lot of cash and people can make sex dolls as you look.
The fully customizable sex doll has been around for a while and it\'s no longer a secret.
However, many horny guys who want to create specific celebrities in latex and strange rib holes are disappointed to find that the manufacturer who made the screws
A human model of a specific portrait (
Although they obviously just fix you with an approximate approximation).
The only exception they are willing to make is if the man who is about to be hit by Glory --
Up doll will give them permission and agree to a fairly intimate integrity-
Ensure the body scanning process in real proportion.
Hey, do you know who is not ashamed at all to show their radiant body and will agree completely with such a thing?
Crazy Baby, order your food under the scanner
Doll of your dreams!
Hell, order a few when you\'re there;
No need to be serious, because diversity is the spice of life.
Let them stick your face to a bunch of fake shapes and genders;
It\'s good, nothing crazy at all.
Even if your new mannequin harem is somehow not enough and you end up allowing some inferior others near your magnificent pelvic area, don\'t worry!
Just fix them with an and you can keep your personality goingshagging.
So go and run to the mountains to hide as this is your only chance to avoid drowning under a real buffet --
From now on, the world will throw things at you. 2Live-
You finally show who is in charge in sex, food and public.
It\'s time to adjust it a little.
Sit back and relax and maybe taste some quality Scotch whisky from every reflective surface in the House and admire yourself. . . . . . wait, crap.
There is almost no reflective surface in this place, is there?
Like, more than 90% of the walls and ceilings are covered with boring paint and wallpaper, and they don\'t seem to be able to cover it all, no matter how many mirrors and your own photos you keep sticking.
This s * t won\'t do it.
What you need is a house that looks in the mirror.
There is around, just waiting for you to buy and/or forcibly overtake.
Some are rather traditional: some are built in, because once you start building things with reflective glass, things like sanity and basic logic do little to suppress your creativity: of course, they all claim to use reflective surfaces to \"fit into nature\" better, but let\'s face the truth: Obviously, like all the mirrors, when they used to look at themselves, they are the best.
Despite the obvious benefits of these buildings, most buildings have an obvious flaw: of course, when you are outside of them, they are sexy and show your reflections in all directions, but what can they do for you when you\'re indoors?
Aren\'t they the same boring non-reflective asshole as where you are now? No, they don\'t.
At least, the time is not long.
Eat here, friend. You\'re welcome.
Now that everything is a mirror, it\'s easy to start thinking that you already have everything you need for serious narcissism.
This is not accurate.
Many people who only love themselves stop here. Have you heard of them?
Of course you didn\'t, unless someone complained about the smell, the police broke into their home and found that they were surrounded by a dozen sex dolls with silly Ogilvy faces in the middle of their fully reflective bedroom, their digestive system failed after trying to survive on stupid things --ogre-face chocolate.
It is time to take the last step: you must now use it to supplement your noble existence.
3D printing has come in handy in our quest to help you become a shining example of what you are clearly human (
There is also a warning example of all false self-narcis)
Come and save us again.
There are places on the internet where you can put your cup on almost everything. Want a , or 16? Can be done!
500 the number of actions carries the character you admire? No problem!
This is just scratching the surface.
Come on, eat some nuts, order a bunch of bowls-
There are statues of skullcap that can lift up and reveal your brain: or take back some space from all the mirrors (
After all, you can\'t see everything at the same time)
Cover one to six rooms with giant paper skinsmache you-
Masks: or, just buy yourself a giant 3D printer to make furniture, including furniture. Order it all.
Fill your Mirror House with the home of your life so you don\'t have to leave again.
You are now one with this world, this world is you.
There is no need to leave.
There is no need to love.
Only you. .
If I continue to create enough of these scenes, perhaps future archaeologists will find some of these sites and retreat from fear.
Then maybe they will go back to the past and guide you away from the dangerous selfadmiration.
After all, you have something better to worship because, as the whole future will surely know.